School Reunions

Okay, I admit it: I'm not much of a social animal. As my blog name and description suggest, I am, and always have been, more at home among my books, with close friends and family.

Imagine my feelings last night when I found a notice for the 20th anniversary of my escape from secondary school...

Um, no thanks!

As a concept, I have no problem with school reunions. I understand that it is a way to relive the joys (and pitfalls!) of those formative years, to connect again with people we've lost track of over time and to network. And, of course, it is a way for people to show off what they've achieved and whom they've married, whether as an opportunity to prove others were wrong about them or simply because they need the validation. But aside from the stress of demanding school work, I did not experience any of the angst or peaks/troughs that is so often depicted in films. I do not have anything to prove.

I think this means I've been very fortunate. Many of my coworkers and acquaintances would and do disagree. It doesn't much bother me, but it is perplexing: am I somehow deficient because my perspective is different from theirs, because my experiences have not followed 'tradition'?

By and large, I have kept in contact with my friends from school. Of those I was close to then, only 3 are no longer in communication with me. Coincidentally, the gradually decreasing letters and phone calls eventually became the final breaks around the same time, about 6 years after we left school.

There was no drama involved. No betrayal of trust. We simply pursued different interests and all of us moved far from home. Long distance relationships, be they platonic or romantic, can be very difficult to maintain. That is to say, it's not impossible, but it does take time, patience and effort... sometimes the friendship or partnership doesn't survive through no fault of anyone involved. It just is.

I have few regrets. After all, the person I am today has been shaped by more than a brief time period of adolescent longings and fears, joys and triumphs. I might have taken a different path than most, but it seems to me that that is a good thing.